Stuck In A Pagoda With Motoko Aoyama

Tsunku, the man behind the mixing desk and the pen for Morning Musume and Hello! Project, has been called a lot of things. One of the most complimentary was the word “genius” when ex-Megadeth guitarist Marty Friedman mentioned him in a 2004 Guitar World piece. He’s produced every Morning Musume recording except their “demo” single “Ai No Tane”, and most of Hello! Project’s recordings over the past ten years, and I have no fault with his productions. However, I thought it would be interesting if Tsunku decided to take a temporary secondary role if the opportunity came for a superstar producer to sit behind the board for a Morning Musume session. He’d still be in the writing chair, but be more of a witness than a primary director to the session while someone with a long track record and a set of fresh ears worked with our heroines.

5. Howard Benson - For one of MoMusu’s modern guitar rock excursions, he’d be perfect. On one hand, he’s worked with Motorhead, Ice-T’s Body Count, Flyleaf, and Three Days Grace, On the other hand, he also worked with American Idle also-ran Daughtry. Umm, maybe we’d better rethink that one…

4. Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds – Responsible for some of TLC’s best tracks that didn’t have Dallas Austin’s name in the production credits. Given that he has “Red Light Special” amongst his credits, imagine what he could do with the increasingly sexual Viyuden.

3. Jeff Lynne – The man knows how to work with great vocalists, and multiple vocalists, and get great chorus vocal sounds. Anyone that could get such multiple personalities as Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Roy Orbison on the same track (not to mention get the surviving three Beatles to cooperate with each other for “Free As A Bird” and “Real Love”) could have a field day – hell, a virtual cakewalk – with our girls. Can anyone also say Tsunku/Jeff Lynne songwriting collaboration?

2. Rick Rubin – The man’s production credits (Beastie Boys, Johnny Cash, LL Cool J, Slayer, Donovan, Linkin Park, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Neil Diamond, Dixie Chicks, The Cult, Mick Jagger, Danzig, Tom Petty, System Of A Down, Slipknot, Issac Hayes, U2, Weezer, Justin Timberlake, Bob Dylan, Shakira) and roster of his American Recordings label (most of the above plus Geto Boys, Flipper, Jesus And Mary Chain, Black Crowes, Frank Black, MC 900 Ft. Jesus, Julian Cope, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Wesley Willis) are just as wonderfully diverse musically as Morning Musume’s back catalog. They’d probably be a perfect fit. The only problem is, Rubin has been known to go in and out of many different sessions, leaving the artists and engineer to fend for themselves (a tendency that had Velvet Revolver dismiss Rubin from the helm of their second album, and had Weezer put a rather obvious co-production credit on their Rubin-helmed album), or tell artists to keep writing songs until Rubin felt they were ready (a tactic that did result in one of Neil Diamond’s better albums, 12 Songs). Methinks that neither MoMusu nor Tsunku would put up with that shit. I don’t even want to fathom the possibility of having Morning Musume live and record in same haunted Hollywood mansion that the Chili Peppers lived and recorded in for BloodSugarSexMagik…

1. Brian Eno – Some people might know the man for his ambient and instrumental albums like Music For Airports, Music For Films, and Discreet Music, his collaborations with Robert Fripp (No Pussyfooting, which was the first recorded instance of the “Frippertronics” tape-loop playback system) and David Byrne (My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts, said to be the favorite album of Public Enemy’s right hand man Hank Shocklee), or just for being the weirdo that was in Roxy Music for their first two albums. But the man knows his way around the producer’s chair (Talking Heads’ Fear Of Music and Remain In Light, David Bowie’s ‘Berlin trilogy’, and U2’s The Joshua Tree, anyone?) and around pop songs (ever hear Eno’s 1979 album Before and After Science? “Backwater” and “King’s Lead Hat” will stick to your brain just as long as “Egao YES Nude” and “Kanahshimi Twilight”!). Besides, I’d like to see Eno hand Tsunku a deck of his Oblique Strategies cards just to see what kind of songs Tsunku comes up with for an Eno-helmed MoMusu album.